Managing Your Self
Lesson 10: Review
Lesson 1: The true self
Lesson 2: How to simply be you
Lesson 3: Purpose
Lesson 4: What works for you
Lesson 5: Decision making
Lesson 6: What isn't working for you?
Lesson 7: Success
Lesson 8: Obstacles and limitations
Lesson 9: Creative self-expression
Lesson 1: The true self
part 1
When we talk about "self" we mean you, the real you. As we will see, this is very often something other than what we are familiar with, who we think we are, or what others expect us to be. We mean the real you.
Most of us wind up going through life acting as something we are not, and come to see ourselves as something other than who we truly are, deep within us. There is an authentic self, within us, which tends to be invalidated, suppressed, or simply ignored as we go through life. The result is, for most people, we lose touch with who we are, our true strengths, our sense of self, our true inner-directedness — our true standing in the world.
Our individuality, our free and creative spirit, our sense of self gets lost along the way. And, unless we do something progressive — or transformational — to recover our own authentic self, we may go through life without ever coming close to who we really are. Or our true potential. Or our purpose. Or true fulfillment.
What you need to know is that there is a place to stand, within you, from which you can deal with everything and everyone — the world-at-large — with confidence, strength, purpose, stability, understanding, creativity, and highest intent.
part 2
Many people become quite comfortable with who they are, or who they think they are, in the course of their lives. They never question who they are. After all, they already know who they are, don't they? They already think for themselves, don't they? They already live their lives as they have freely chosen, don't they?
Well, no, they don't. They just don't realize it.
part 3
The two forces of socialization and individuation are opposed to each other. There are ways in which they can be harmonious, and work together, but our modern society does not acknowledge this or show you how. Instead, society promotes its agenda, sells you on its way of thinking, props up your social illusions, and is content to have you fit in at the cost of totally losing your authentic self.
You may find yourself at some point in your life taking direction from everything outside you — or the programming, conditioning, and indoctrination you have already internalized and taken as your own. What gets lost in this process is: you.
Realize, no matter what you may have been through, you have made it to here. And you can learn a better way of being, now. You have to know that no matter what you may have experienced there is a true self, a good and pure and loving and peaceful and strong inner self, within you, waiting. It has been waiting, patiently, all this time, for you to return to your own authentic self. It has been there all along. And it is the real you.
part 4
It is possible to reconnect with your sense of openness, wonder, curiosity, intuition, purpose, and creativity — which many of us leave behind in our childhood. Maybe those qualities never left, but have simply not been given any attention for a very long time.
Somewhere along the way, we lose our simple innocence and joy in being.
There is still a place within you, which is closer to who you truly are. And it is a place of much greater peace, love, joy, happiness, and freedom. This is how you move closer to your authentic self, by moving toward who you truly are and want to be, and by gradually moving away from who you are not — what the world has made you. It is a process of being revitalized, remade, renewed from within you, by simply allowing yourself to be you.
part 5
A label — an externally applied definition of who you are — takes all that is unlimited and infinite and free within you, and puts it within the most narrow, restrictive, finite limits. A label solidifies your self-concept, the way the world views and treats you, and the consequences you experience. Wearing a label is not the way to live as a true, free, creative, unrestricted being.
You are the inner self, the inner being, who is not a product of anything outside you. Your authentic self has no skin color or social standing. It is not defined by any external social label. It is your inner being, your consciousness, your true self.
We are not going to give you another label to wear, or tell you to be comfortable wearing the one you have. We are going to invite you to know yourself, deeply, beyond any outside labels.
part 6
You have many agreements — whether you are conscious of them or not — with the world-at-large, your society, your family, yourself. You are in agreement with things that may serve you as well as those that do not. You may even be in agreement with things that are very destructive to you, such as choosing to abuse yourself with drugs, alcohol, tobacco, promiscuity, gambling, pornography, and so on.
You may or may not realize this, but you are in agreement with every label you wear. If you have not gone beyond the label, or if you use it to define who you are, then you are in agreement with society using that label as well.
You may find that you need to break this level of agreement you have with the world-at-large, and make or honor a better agreement with your own self. The agreement will be, very simply, that you find what really matters to you, that you respect who you are more than what you are sold, that you take your identity from your deep inner self rather than the most shallow and superficial worldly identifiers.
part 7
Some people habitually react to social pressures by rebelling against them. They seldom see that they are still taking their identity — their sense of who they are — from what they oppose. Their sense of who they are is defined by — and often controlled by — what they are reacting to.
Resentment is actually a commitment to not letting go of something, not getting free from it. And, when you are no longer in the presence of whatever or whoever you resent, you do it to yourself. You begin to take your identity from what troubles you, what you cannot get past, what you resent.
You need to know that you cannot distance yourself from, or get free from, what you continue to react to — by rebelling or by resentment.
part 8
The idea is to remove as many unnecessary limitations on our selves as possible. As we will see, many limitations originate outside ourselves, and others are internalized: we limit ourselves, our perspective, our hopes and dreams, our engagement in life. In further cases we adopt patterns of self-limiting or self-destructive behavior, not realizing what we are doing to ourselves, or ignoring it.
Limitations may be common, normal, or accepted by you or others — they may even find rationalization or justification — but they do not ultimately work for you. They are a way of keeping your self from openness, awareness, insight, intuition, creativity, and self-reliance. Limitations are unnecessarily limiting influences.
Boundaries are different; they help us to define our space, who we are. Boundaries are important in establishing a sense of self which is independent, free from undue interference or violation from anyone else, stable, secure, and confident. We can set our own boundaries, experience them more clearly, and protect them, as we see fit. If we don't have clear boundaries, our relationship with others or the world-at-large tends to overshadow, diminish, disallow, or oppress us.
part 9
The choice of how you want to be in the world is up to you.
At times we feel "less" than we can be, or try to prove that we are more than — better than — others. This comparison with others is generally self-defeating; it only builds up our egos or our illusions about ourselves.
You are not what others think you are, but you aren't what you think you are, either.
The challenge is to find who we are in the midst of all that we are not.
part 10
If finding what you are looking for, or don't even know you are looking for — right there, inside you — doesn't interest you, what does?
Welcome to life on planet Earth. Now, we will be learning to do something positive about it, so that you can find your self no matter how lost you might have ever felt. You may have already "learned" how to react to everything and everyone negatively, or how to give in to the world's pressures, demands, or expectations of you — that's something we all "learn" here. But, that isn't really learning; and, it isn't of much value at all.
Do you know what it means to do something progressive, to experience who you really are, to unfold and express your true self, and act from there? It has nothing whatsoever to do with fitting in, or being what everyone else wants you to be. It's about being you, the real you.
You can be who the world has made you, or you can be your authentic self.
Lesson 2: How to simply be you
part 1
There are a million ways to be, and endless roles you can play in life, ways to identify yourself ... and there is only one way in which you are simply being you. It's very simple, but it can be easy to miss — sometimes for your entire life.
Personality is not self. It is much more superficial. Personality is largely shaped by the world we live in — it is a set of choices as to how to fit in or how to be accepted, more often than it is a simple and free expression of the inner self. It is how we perform for others in our role. So, even those who have strong personalities can learn a thing or two about what it means to be more true to themselves, on a deeper level.
It is your job to see beyond the expectations, programming, indoctrination, and reactiveness that govern your choices in life — which govern who you think you are, and your self-worth. Otherwise, you remain a slave to the thinking, behavior, expectations, oppression, and illusions of your time. Be thankful that you have the opportunity to question things, to not have to accept the way things are as the way they have to be.
The truest motivation for this transformational change is to simply realize that you want to express who you truly are, in the highest sense, and that you are no longer content to live a lie — a life determined by just about everyone and everything outside you.
part 2
Listen to your heart. That is learning and practicing a better way of being. That is a true way to live your life. Ask what is right, good, and true to you, in your own heart, and make your choices from that place in you. Live from a place of conscience, seeking at each moment to come closer to the truth and light within you.
You will be amazed at the great changes that come from simply honoring your self, your inner-directedness, in this way. If you practice living from the center of your being, you will find that many things get reorganized in your life, in a really positive way.
part 3
Your inner being — your self — is a consciousness. It is, by its very nature, calm, quiet, still. Centering is a process of acknowledging, attuning with, and knowing your true inner being. This is a process of coming back to your center, experiencing that place in you from which arise your true purposes, highest intentions, creative vision, inner peace and joy, and sense of self. This is who you are.
There is a place to stand, within you, to deal with everything outside you.
part 4
The more you practice centering, the more you will learn to stay centered your self. You will find that this center, in the wholeness of your self, is more unbounded, more free from the effects of outer conditions than the part of you that is reactive to things outside you — the ego. The inner self is calm, nonreactive, undisturbed, unharmed, at peace, intact, whole.
Your response, if one is even necessary, will come from your self, your centered self — not your reactive ego. This is how to be free from reactiveness. The result will be that you are not stressed, pressured, intimidated, controlled, or run by anything or anyone outside you. This is accomplished by simply letting go of any resentment or judgment you may have toward anyone, including your self.
part 5
Acting from your center is about acting most appropriately, most powerfully, free from negative reactions. You learn to develop calmness, balance, and poise — in your self — in the midst of challenging, changing, even confusing, outside situations.
There are three factors in not being reactive: consciousness, choice, and commitment.
You need to learn to be calm and centered, act from your center, and return to your center when something or someone tries to throw you out of there. When you are practiced at centering, you can take a moment to do it whenever you feel the need, with your eyes open or closed.
Basically, as soon as you react negatively to what you perceive outside you, you bring it into yourself, upon yourself — you are wrongly affected by it, and it has power over you. This is why it is better to not resent or judge others, no matter how they may provoke you. This does not mean suppressing your feelings, or ignoring people, or somehow resisting them inside you — that only brings what you do not like outside you, inside you. Rather, you can learn to be truly calm and poised within your self, to properly deal with all kinds of situations. You will be the flame with a clear glass shield, and whatever might disturb you will now blow by.
part 6
In exploring self management, we are dealing first with issues of being rather than what you are doing. Being is about who you are, within you, on a deeper level; doing is about how you act outside of you, in the world-at-large.
Peace, love, truth, and joy are essential qualities of your true inner being, and nothing can ever take them away.
This is your true center, the core, the deeper self. And, no matter what you may experience, no matter how hard anything may be or have been in your life, this inner self has remained inviolate, whole, undamaged, and true. This is who you are.
part 7
You are, in reality, not in competition with anyone. Not now. Not ever.
Ego — which is always the "reward" in competition — makes you less; the more ego you have, the less sense of inner self you have. And rather than gaining some kind of freedom or independence, you are invited to sell out all the more. If you can prove that you are better than some, you can prove that you are better than even more.
You will find that your own true purpose in living has very little to do with proving your superiority over anyone or to anyone — not even to your self. It is simply being your own self. That is enough. You are enough.
part 8
Some way, somehow, your society, your parents, family, friends, peers, teachers, employers, or others may have made you feel less or think less of your self. This is how you are invalidated. No one and nothing is supposed to crush your spirit, abuse you, manipulate and control you, demean or degrade you. Yet it happens.
As a result, most people have behaviors that are self-limiting or even self-destructive, including all sorts of addictions: shopping, gambling, drugs, alcohol, pornography, tobacco, and so on. These are ways in which you may continue to invalidate yourself.
In learning who you are, and drawing more on your deeper resources, it is important to validate all that is good within you. If you have been invalidated in some way, you need to know that who you really are — deep within you — has never left you, has never become less, has never been damaged. You have never been made less. You have only been made to feel less, or to think less of yourself.
We can validate all that is good within us, and let go of all that is not; we can validate what we know to be right, and let go of what is not. It is a choice we make. And we can embrace that place in us which never lost its hopes and dreams — and reconnect with them.
part 9
Your fundamental choices structure what is in your life.
Many people are not even aware of the choices they make daily — especially the choice to accept the unduly limiting influences of the past — and do not realize how their life gets structured out of each and every choice they make. They never expand their context, but keep making the same old choices.
It is possible to more clearly realize or appreciate the context of your life by examining the underlying, fundamental, choices you have made. It may also be possible to make new fundamental choices in life, to change the overall context of your life or change your experience of life. Fundamental and far-reaching changes require quiet self-reflection or inner awareness.
part 10
It can be hard to be an individual, feeling, person, who makes choices not based upon what everyone else expects, but based upon what you feel to be right, good, and true within you.
We are indifferent, and so we do not make a difference with our lives — although we have the power to make a difference.
You cannot live a life that is true to who you are, with a closed heart. It takes caring, feeling, and a willingness to come from a place of love, truth, and simplicity.
What if, instead of doing what you may have been conditioned to, or what others might expect of you, you did something different? What if you actually knew that your life could truly make a difference?
Lesson 3: Purpose
part 1
Your purpose isn't located anywhere outside you, nor is it determined by your education, career, race, religion, age, sex, social, cultural, or other background. You have to find it on a deeper level of being, within you. Purpose answers the question: Why am I here?
Most people are programmed to live an unquestioning existence, and thereby lose touch with who they really are and what their purpose is in being here. They assume that whatever they do is their purpose. This is a self-deceptive trap, a way to remain comfortably unaware — or "accepted" and approved of by others.
The thinking, desires, expectations, demands, pressures and will of others act through you, if you are not inner-directed.
Rather than acting out of ego, pride, programming, or social or cultural conditioning, realize what is right and good and true in your own self. Love what is right more than anything else — and live that way.
part 2
Purpose is the highest value and meaning you find in living — value and meaning both come from within you. Think of what might be different in your life if you were to realize, choose, and act on what you knew to be right, good, and true, in each and every moment.
"Fitting in" — accepting all of the common programming and social conditioning — is not a solution.
Your choices and actions in life flow from the purpose you have found, or not found, within you.
part 3
It takes the tiniest shift, from being closed to being open, to bring into your experience all that you need, all that will take you higher. It is such a small shift, that it often goes unnoticed — or else we do not know how to do it. The shift is in our awareness, our consciousness, what we can see, and then what we are able to choose. It is a shift in how we hold things, how we see our selves, our inner stance. It is how we allow movement, change, growth, or a greater unfolding of our true self. All of this comes from the simple quality of openness.
You have limitless opportunities. It is largely your perceptions, expectations, and judgments — especially those you hold towards yourself — which filter out or disregard the opportunities that you have at each and every moment.
It doesn't matter where you've been, what may have been your experience in the past, or what expectations you may have already accepted for yourself for your future. You can change. You can choose to open yourself to, and receive, something more, something better, something wonderful.
Stop listening to — or obeying — the voice of doubt, fear, worry, self-consciousness, conformity, or expectation. Listen instead to what your heart is saying to you, what moves you, what touches you deeply, what matters to you, what you feel you might have to offer.
part 4
The dream in your heart is more about who you really are, rather than things you want.
If you do not know who you are inside, more deeply, you will be run by the thoughts, feelings, and desires that flow through you. You will take them as real. You will imagine that is you. It is not. There is a difference between a desire and a dream. Desires are most often about getting something, and are usually ego-emotional in nature.
Desires drive us. Dreams lead us.
part 5
There are many things that people feel very passionate about, which captivate them. But, remember the role of social conditioning, programming, ego, emotion, and desire. They are all very strong motivating factors in behavior — but none of them is true to the inner self, the authentic self.
part 6
You are force-fed facts, information, figures, rules, and discipline which completely rob you of your own inner meaning, inner direction, creativity, intuition, sense of wonder, and sense of self. You are judged by how well you recite the same answers as everyone else. What gets lost in this process is: you.
Regardless of your age, your life experience, your education or work, you very likely carry this enormously limiting mindset with you, to this day. It has limited — and in many cases, entirely blocked — your creativity, your deeper intuition, your sense of meaning and purpose.
You may come to realize that meaning is actually quite arbitrary; it is something that you give to things. It is not a matter of what anyone else thinks. It is what you truly think and feel. And something can have meaning for you without any words, or without any of the words meaning what they are "supposed" to mean.
part 7
Our comfort zone becomes a place of habitual retreat, rather than a solid ground for change. In simple terms, you have to learn to step out of your comfort zone. The things that hold greater purpose and meaning for you are generally outside your comfort zone.
It is up to you to pursue the things that invite your participation, curiosity, input, or contribution. You are already aware of things like that — outside your normal comfort zone. You simply need to step out of the comfort zone, which may feel a bit uncomfortable, see what might be even better, and do it. It is a choice you make.
part 8
Have you ever thought that there is a risk involved in simply being yourself? What if you are rejected, not approved of, or put down in some way? That can be more hurtful than the risk involved in doing something "dangerous." We compromise our selves, who we are, and who we hope we might be, by eliminating the risk of trying.
We often erroneously try to protect ourselves from failure by failing to try.
Risking is about believing in your self, not taking careless risks, not testing your ego, not trying to prove something to someone else. Of course, risking has nothing whatsoever to do with going against conscience, or your sense of what is right, good, and true.
There is no need to do anything dangerous or difficult to prove that you are willing to risk being you. Being your self is simple. It is not inherently dangerous or difficult or problematic. Trying to be something other than who you are can be much harder, and is a lot more problematic.
Lesson 4: What works for you
part 1
We have suggested that nothing works better for you than simply being you. Yet, this is quite rare in our modern society. We become what everyone or everything outside of us demands, expects, or pressures us to be.
Assertiveness is about holding your own space, your own sense of self, your own boundaries, and refusing to have your boundaries violated by others. It is not about "getting over" others. It has nothing at all to do with asserting your will, demands, pressures, or expectations upon others.
Assertiveness is the recognition and appreciation of your own boundaries, your personal space. That includes your body, your privacy, your personal space — physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
You need to know that you have a right to not have your boundaries be violated by others, whether individually, socially, collectively, or otherwise.
Your willingness to hold your space, to hold your own dignity and self-worth, to have others respect your boundaries, has a much greater impact than just you. It teaches everyone else how they are to behave with you.
part 2
So, you go through life, and others trample on you, your rights, your self-esteem or your self-worth. It could be a parent, sibling, spouse, partner, friend, peer, stranger, authority figure, family member, or even a child.
You need to have your own space, a place in which to stand, center, and deal with things in your life. If you do not have this place to stand — within you — it is hard to deal with anyone or anything outside of you from a true place of power. So, the most important thing is to learn to be centered, and practice this, daily.
This is the largest part of being assertive: being centered, in a place of power, and not being displaced from yourself or weakened or belittled or stressed or pressured.
Being assertive with someone often means saying, "No." Just say no. You don't have to come up with excuses, rationalizations, justification, compromises, or other consideration. Just say, "No."
part 3
People do not often "own" their own problems. They tend to look beyond themselves for solutions or answers (or causes). They avoid taking responsibility — either for the way things are, the choices they have made or continue to make, their reactions, or their own power to change the problem or resolve it.
The first thing you always have available to work with, in any problem, is you. Do not underestimate this. You are the one who carries perceptions, awareness, understanding, insight, creativity, intuitiveness, responsibility, and the power of choice. None of these is outside of you. None of these is beyond you. Owning a problem brings all of these positive qualities to the problem.
part 4
Keep an open mind. Most of the time it takes only one thought — one idea that you are willing to really consider — to change an entire life. When that thought arises, it may not seem all that special. But, one thought can be like a seed, and an entire new direction in your life can develop from it. Realize, you don't see the whole thing at the beginning. You see only the first step. And you have to be willing to value and take that step.
Whatever you feel to be beneficial in some way to you, physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually, whatever contributes to your sense of well-being, whatever speaks to your heart, take a step towards it, and then another.
part 5
Will power is not really about being totally inflexible, stubborn, immovable, or willful. That is ego. What arises from the true inner self is a much more flexible, creative, movement in the direction in which you want to go.
Your own true will is such a simple thing, and entirely non-egotistical. It is more like surrendering to the highest good of all, in all situations. It is your willingness to respect what is right, good, and true, in the moment, without some other overriding agenda.
"Will" is a matter of: will you simply be true to you?
part 6
Things change rapidly, and we are pulled in many different directions. In our society, people live very unbalanced lives. What gets lost in this is you.
Instead of finding a true balance, people often use alcohol or drugs to make them less aware of their degree of imbalance, upset, stress, or loss of self. But, this doesn't fix them, or restore a true sense of self. Imbalance leads to more imbalance, more suffering, unless you correct the imbalance.
Do you overdo? Do you overextend yourself? Do you "bite off more than you can chew"? Do you have too many things going at once? Do you balance time properly? Do you spend quality time on the things that are most important to you, or do you waste time on lesser things? Do you favor one aspect of your self over the rest — whether that might be the intellectual, the emotional, the will, or the physical?
part 7
Self referral means self-awareness. You can only find meaning in what you experience to the extent that you have self-awareness, because the meaning of what you experience, the story you tell your self about it, always relates to who you are, or who you think you are.
Over time, you may find that you refuse to just agree with anybody's thoughts, beliefs, or opinions — without thinking for your self — regardless of their apparent authority.
part 8
Listen to your conscience, especially in moments of doubt. This means, do what you know in your heart to be right.
Conscience doesn't necessarily shout at you; it has a quieter voice. But if you habitually ignore it, you may no longer even be aware that it is there at all.
The bottom line is: there is nothing more creative or more progressive than simply doing what is right. Do what is right just because it is right. You don't need other reasons. And you don't need any other reward for doing what is right.
Imagine how you would want someone else to act towards you, or what you would want a child to learn and do, from your example. Imagine that what you do, and how you do it, matters. It does, to everyone.
part 9
Strong impressions from the past — called "stresses" — are influences which produces a mistaken reactiveness or response, now. Past stresses have made a great "impression" on you, on your mind, your feelings, and your desires.
You may discover that the habit of holding on to past impressions does not work for you. You can relinquish the limitations of the past. Re-acting out the past, or acting solely based upon past impressions and understandings, diminishes your awareness in the here and now.
part 10
Value is fundamental to our lives: you hold on to what you feel is of value to you, and you let go of what is not.
Basically, you choose what you want in your life and what you don't, based upon the value you find in it. You make these choices in terms of not only physical objects, or relationships, but in the very thoughts, feelings, and desires you hold, within you.
Many things which are valued today are an illusion. Is something of value because it is old? Is something of greater value if it is older? Is something of value if other people can't have it? Is something of value if it serves your ego or if it serves your self? Do you think the real value of things will be the illusory value they may have had in the past?
In all your choices, be sure you consider what is truly of value: what is more valuable than a real sense of inner peace, happiness, love, or worth? If you think something else is more valuable, you may need to work on your perceptions and judgments about value.
part 11
When you are in activity, when you have decisions to make, when you are uncertain or unclear, take time to breathe, consciously. It helps you to be in your center, and better deal with everything outside you.
Lesson 5: Decision making
part 1
As an adult, you decide what you want to be, do, and have in your life. You decide. No one else decides for you. You may try to meet the expectations of others, or you may give in to various pressures or demands, but, that is your choice. You are the one who is empowered to choose in your own life.
Very simply, everything in life comes down to choice. All that you know, all that you've experienced, all that you've learned, has brought you to where you are. You have made choices at each step. You are making choices now, and you will do so in the future. But, the place you always get to choose is: here, now.
If you want to know what the quality of your choices have been in the past, look at your life in the present, here, now. It has come about as a result of all of the choices you made in the past, the things you chose and the things you chose not to choose. It's all a choice.
Decision making is a choice to make more conscious choices.
The same old choices tend to bring the same old results. This does not favor our problem solving, decision making, learning, growth, success, or progress. Instead, we need to be open to something better.
part 2
Decision making is similar to problem solving. The first thing you need to do is to open your mind to all the possibilities — beyond the most apparent or immediate ones. As in problem solving, you do not merely take the most obvious thing in front of your eyes and figure out how to make it work.
This process of decision making which involves being open, being centered, and being true to your self applies in all areas of life, work, relationships, and so on. It is practicing being your self and making choices that you feel are right, good, and true for you.
part 3
The way society, and its many institutions work, is to try to ensure that tomorrow is like today and today is like yesterday. It perpetuates the status quo, the way things are as the way they should be, and the way they will be, tomorrow as well. If you don't choose to make a difference, who will?
Most people are content to have all of their most important choices made for them by others, by parents, family, bosses, leaders, authorities, and society in general. All of the most important choices in their lives are made for them by others. Do you let others choose for you? Social institutions of government, education, religion, business, and so on, seek to perpetuate the same influence they had in the past into the future.
The first requirement of decision making is to honor your self and your own truth.
part 4
In a world which rewards conformity and a common view, you have to make a great effort to see things differently, to think differently, to believe differently, to choose differently. Yet that is the only way to allow yourself to develop a greater, truer perspective.
Seek a larger perspective, rather than being content with choosing between poor options.
Decisions almost always come down to what is in view, or perceived to be in reach. We mainly see what is right in front of us and do not look beyond it. The narrower our view, the narrower our perceived options, the weaker our position, the poorer our choice.
part 5
Making a decision often becomes a process of selecting between limited options.
Good decision making requires, above all else, an awareness of possibilities.
If you wish to choose something different, to experience something different, to have different results, then the first step is to realize and appreciate the many options you have.
In a very real sense, if you have problems or difficult decisions, then you need to look at what you have already been choosing (perhaps for your whole life). You have to consider how the choices you have made, each and every day, at every moment, have brought you to this place, or have structured the present situation. And if you want something different, you have to be willing to conceive of something different, think differently, aspire to something better, and act differently.
part 6
There is a payoff in every choice you make, in every decision. You choose what you do because of that perceived payoff, benefit, or advantage. But, the payoff may be quite delusive, illusory, or ultimately unreal.
What is the payoff that you are getting, which is determining your choices, your thinking, your desires, your behavior? Is it real, is it lasting, or is it just an illusion of satisfaction or happiness you are pursuing?
You are never taught to question your choices, your habits, your behavior, your desires. You are merely presented with an assortment of items, as if at a buffet, and told to pick and choose what you want, to satisfy your tastes and your desires.
Many if not all of your choices come from conditioning, programming, and social indoctrination.
part 7
As an adult, you have the right to think what you wish, believe what you wish, choose what you wish, act as you wish, and live the life you choose for your self. No one else stands in a place of authority over you — unless you allow them to.
At some point, many people wake up in life and realize that they have given all of their power away. They do not know who they really are, they do not know what they really want, they do not know what their true purpose is, they do not make the most important decisions for themselves, but they let everyone or anyone else do that for them.
When was the last time you confronted authority?
Ultimately, no one knows what is right for you better than you. You may have been invalidated so much or for so long that you lack confidence in yourself; you may have lost sight of what it means to stand up and be you. If you don't speak up for yourself, who will?
part 8
What is difficult about decision making is the extent to which you may need to invest yourself in the decision. You have to make a commitment. It can feel very restrictive, once you make a choice and decide to go with it. You have to give up all the other options.
The fact is, most decisions, most of the time, tend to be fairly workable. It isn't so much about whether one option is so much better than any other, it is a matter of what you can believe in, what you can invest yourself in. You have to believe in your decision, believe in its "rightness," enough that you are willing to commit your time, energy, and resources to it.
There are many people who are considered very successful, who are not really smarter, more creative, or better at things. They are simply willing to commit themselves to something, once they decide. It isn't just a choice or a decision to them, it is a commitment which requires perseverance. They decide — when they make a decision — that they will do whatever it takes to make it happen.
And, if they find, after implementing a decision, that their chosen option is not likely to produce the results they want, they are flexible enough to modify it or change in whatever way is necessary to have the results they want. They keep their goal in mind, rather than having allegiance to a particular option. They pursue what works for them.
part 9
We do our best to deal with the unknown, by what we know. There is nothing wrong with this. But a problem may arise if we habitually rely upon what we know — and think, and believe, and choose, and act the same way — all the time. This precludes change. This is a way of trying to deal with the unknown by sticking with the "tried and true." It sounds good. It may feel comfortable. But it closes us to change, learning, growing, new opportunities, progress, or a greater success.
Ambiguity is part of problem solving, and part of life. There is no "one and perfect answer" to a problem, which you have to find. We work with what we are given, make the best choices we can, see how they work, and choose again if they do not work to our satisfaction.
Be willing to receive something new in decision making and problem solving — it is called "inspiration." It is a new idea, a new and more progressive belief, a new direction, a new possibility.
part 10
If there is something you want to manifest, speak well of it; speak words of encouragement about it, to yourself and to others. If you are sincere and truthful, you will find that your spoken word will attract support for whatever true purpose you may have in your heart. What is right will unfold.
Whatever decision you make, you need to be able to say it, mean it, and do it.
part 11
Whatever decision you make, you need to be able to say it, mean it, and do it.
Basically, everything involves risk. If you wait until everything in life is certain, safe, and "risk-free" before you act, you will never even cross the street. However, if you are heedless of all risk, you may never make it across. Risk must be considered, weighed, and balanced, reasonably, unemotionally.
Many people will not risk anything great (or small) in their lives. They will not risk losing the security of keeping things the same, in favor of pursuing their dreams. They avoid all risk to minimize any possibility of loss.
There is a risk in every action, plan, or course of action, because the future, and future conditions, are unknowns; in other words, everything has a less than perfectly certain probability. You have to learn to work with this uncertainty, and learn to let it work for you.
Remember, if you successfully avoid the risk of the unknown, or conform to the commonly accepted, you will miss the rewards of far greater possibilities.
Lesson 6: What isn't working for you?
part 1
When you are excessively serious, you feel a need to control every detail, to avoid disappointment or something unexpected. Creativity vanishes. Creativity needs space, degrees of freedom, a willingness to completely change your focus or perspective, or to let things develop at their own pace, innocently.
Creativity is not just the act of producing some external tangible product, but a process of overcoming internal blocks to true self-expression. Freeing yourself from conformity will help to reveal inner conscience. Give your self the space to truly be free, and discover your true creative abilities.
part 2
Peer pressure is one of the most self-limiting forms of conditioning. If you "sell out" or try to "measure up" to others, you may receive the rather dubious reward of becoming just like them. But, somewhere in the process you lose your self, your inner-directedness, your own purpose, and your own self-validation. The true measure by which you can determine your worth — and the value of your creative self-expression — has nothing to do with comparison or conformity, and everything to do with simply honoring the highest within you.
Fear of criticism or disapproval is an example of negative conditioning which is learned as you are growing up and trying to fit into the world. You are shaped by others' ideas, attitudes, and beliefs — and their pressures to conform. You give in to fear, or internalize externally-derived self-limiting programming.
If you value what others say more than what you know to be right in your own self, your self is diminished. Then, other people have their way with you. Face your fear, and do what is right anyway. You need to develop free self-expression.
The thing that holds you back — doubts or fears — is what you leave behind when you accept and allow creative change. From this process of creative growth comes greater security, creative freedom, and empowerment within your self.
part 3
Your perceptions and interpretations in the present moment may be largely determined by what you have experienced in the past — sometimes, entirely.
Habitual thinking reduces your awareness, and effectively keeps you using only a small fraction of your mental potential. The release from habit, conditioning, and programming is part of the solution to every problem — to be more conscious.
Many people are unfamiliar with the experience of having an open mind, receptive to new and creative ideas. They may feel discomfort or anxiety when asked to truly open their minds — to break the habit (or apparent security) of relying upon the same old thoughts, or thinking in the same old narrow context.
part 4
Many people have the self-negating tendency to act out of upset, rather than to release it. Accept responsibility for your self, and the need to respond to all situations appropriately. Do not give in to, or act out of, wrong influences.
We often "re-act" out the past, and seldom freely act creatively, no matter how much pride or satisfaction we may have in our actions, no matter how much others may approve of or reward our actions.
Most of us have been invalidated in our self, and habituated to a lack of self, in many, many ways, in life, work, and relationships. We have internalized outside pressures, expectations, and demands, and externalized our selves; we have lost our inner creative vision, our own creative purpose in living, and become displaced from our selves.
part 5
Conditioning is a behavioral mechanism whereby any repeated influence tends to breed acceptance of that influence, whether it is rationalized, resented, welcomed, or denied. Conditioning causes self-adaptation, habitual reactions, unawareness, loss of choice, loss of self-determination or self-responsibility, and loss of a true sense of self.
What happens in life is that many of us get good at handling those areas which we wish to deal with, and we get even better at ignoring those areas which we do not like to deal with. In both cases, we become more and more conditioned in our thinking, feeling, and desires. We become creatures of habit; we begin to run on automatic, in a predictable pattern, not noticing that we are getting locked into habit — and locked out of truly original and creative action.
You cannot find your self, or learn to manage your self, by referring to your prior conditioning, programming, training, or past patterns of thinking. You have to relearn the process of self-referral, and discernment — and begin to truly think for your self.
part 6
Programming is any form of conditioning of the mind, such that you automatically act out the behavior associated with those thoughts, ideas, feelings, or will. It is a way of being acted through by others, or of accepting their influence mindlessly. Programming works by displacing you from your true self, or by creating a false sense of self, such that what you do — your choices, your behavior — is in accordance with that external programming influence.
Programming replaces understanding. Instead of truly knowing anything within their self, by a true process of self-referral, people generally refer everything in their experience to their programming, to "see" if it is true.
part 7
Most people live in a world of illusions, a rather fragile bubble which may be pierced by reality or the truth at any moment. This world of illusions is structured out of conditioning, programming, the expectation that things will continue to be the same, and denial — any truth which is upsetting can just be denied.
One of the greatest illusions is "if it feels good, it is good." Most people are conditioned to move towards sensory and emotional gratification, short-term gains, whatever feeds their ego, pride, ambition, and illusions. They feel "good" when they feed their fantasies, and are supported by friends, family, peers, associates, and society, for doing so.
People habitually seek to grow more comfortable in their illusions.
It doesn't matter how "creatively" you construct your illusions, how invested you become in them, or how "rewarding" they seem to you, they simply cannot last, in reality.
part 8
There are socially imposed restrictions on who we are allowed to be, and there are inhibitions we place upon ourselves.
Inhibition is a form of negative conditioning, in which you have been greatly suppressed by others, and have accepted this programming to negate your self. You come to feel awkward, ashamed, or afraid to express your true self to others.
You overcome insecurity by finding the courage to act, by breaking out of the trap of fear and self-doubt, by doing what you know to be right. Creativity means leaving behind the "safety" of what you are already familiar with, for the relative uncertainties of something new or unknown in your experience. What you stand to gain is something more than what you started out with.
part 9
If you do not challenge what is wrong, and see it as wrong, you are essentially in agreement with you. You are choosing to make it "right" in your mind, your thinking, your actions, your choices, your life, and your world. That does not solve anyone's problems, not yours individually, not all of our problems, collectively.
part 10
Most of the time, we look through our egos, our programming, our social conditioning, and all of the things that shape us and our view of the world.
We do not recognize ego because we so thoroughly identify ourselves with it.
In the simplest terms, our society, family, friends, peers, and others build up our egos. And what gets lost in all of this is our true self.
We wind up living in all of the expectations and illusions about us, which have been put on us by others, and which we now hold for ourselves. We take our identity from how we are accepted (or rejected) by others, how we are judged by others, how we please others.
In all of this, what is lost is a true sense of self.
It is necessary to consider this before we move on to the subject of "success," because unless you have a deeper sense of who you are, your self worth, your sense of purpose and value, you may go through your entire life acting as what you are not and being compensated for it.
There is a better way of being, a better way of living. And it has nothing at all to do with living to meet everyone's expectations or illusions about you. It is simply being you — that is enough. In fact, anything other than that, only makes you less.
Lesson 7: Success
part 1
Increasingly, yesterday's assumptions and expectations will be seen to be based on superficial conditioning, programming, unawareness, and a mindless unquestioning faith that all of our needs (including the need to think for ourselves) have been provided for by others.
The more rapidly and unexpectedly things change, the greater the need to manage change outside by managing within. The key to managing your self (and everything else) is to be aware, see what is happening, understand why, and find a stable place to stand within you.
part 2
Success is subjective; you find or assign value, meaning, and purpose to what you do, and experience a given level of fulfillment, within you. There is no external measure of success, no matter what your society, peers, family, friends, or authority figures say. It is not about money, position, power, materialism, or anything else outside you. It is how you experience your situation.
To experience greater success, you choose to change. You change you, or you change your experience of your situation — your self-talk, your thoughts, your perception of your options, your interaction, your level of involvement, the actual choices you are making, what you choose to find value or meaning in, and your choice of how you react. Those things are within your control.
Success depends upon little more than true inner awareness, knowing what your purposes are — realizing deeply what needs to be done and why — and then choosing to do what you know to be right, good, and true for you.
part 3
The most fundamental thing that works for you is your own consciousness. Your consciousness is the basic awareness you have, by which you are able to be "present" and experience, here, now — and respond appropriately.
Consciousness is a simple, uncluttered awareness of reality. The very willingness to be more conscious of what you do, and what you are choosing, opens your awareness to better choices.
Everything you do is a product of your own consciousness; everything in your life/work benefits from more consciousness on your part. Greater consciousness is like the difference between being unconscious or asleep, and being awake and alive. This is why you need to seek more clarity, alertness, and awareness of real possibilities in activity. Consciousness gives you true creative choice.
part 4
You have free will — the potential to exercise choice continuously. The extent to which you truly demonstrate free will, and true creative choice, is basically a matter of how aware you are. Choice also depends upon how free you are from habit, past conditioning, programming, or indoctrination in the present moment.
To a large extent, what you may experience in life, and the people and things you fill your life with, are entirely of your own choosing. You make countless choices each day, small and large — most of them unaware, mindless, or habitual. And you live with your choices. Everything is a choice; you choose to either accept it or refuse it in your life, consciously or unconsciously.
Responsibility is inherent in every choice; you are accountable for whatever you choose or do not choose, in your life.
There is enormous power in choice, but first, you have to be aware that you have choices to make. In other words, consciousness must be introduced into the process of choosing.
It is much easier to be conscious about choices by allowing some quiet time to center within the self before "choosing." In other words, the more calm, clear, and connected you are with your inner self, the more conscious your choices will be. Further, choose to bypass common habitual thinking, the thinking, desires, expectations, pressures, or demands of others, past conditioning or programming, ego, and emotion — and instead rely more upon your own true self.
part 5
Commitment means accepting responsibility for your choices — and thereby being consistent in choosing. A commitment is the choice to stay with a choice you have made; it's a choice to keep the larger perspective.
Prior to making a clear, conscious, commitment, your choices can pull you in different directions, and render your actions ineffective. But, within you is the creative intelligence to organize your choices in life/work — such that they are all going in the same direction, in accordance with your purpose.
Realize that commitment is not arbitrary, just as choice is not arbitrary. And, making a commitment to your choices does not make them right. Both choice and commitment require you to look deeply within your self, to choose what is right and good and true, to follow higher principle, to fulfill higher purposes.
Learn to get free from programmed loyalties, limiting past conditioning, and old habit patterns. And let that be your first, true, commitment to your self.
part 6
The reality is that you live with your choices, unless and until you choose otherwise. This is your responsibility in reality; you do make those choices.
Responsibility is the acknowledgment that you can make a difference in your own life. It is a choice you make.
When you do accept responsibility for yourself, your entire experience and your entire life, and accept responsibility for everything being exactly the way it is in your life, you experience your self as the source of your experience. You begin to allow yourself a far greater state of being, a certain wholeness.
part 7
Three main factors — happiness, suitability, and challenge — provide a basis for career choices.
It may sound too simple, but it can't be emphasized too much: do something at which you are happy if you want to be happy with what you are doing. This is the most important factor in career choices; next comes suitability — the degree of harmony between your outer activities and your inner abilities. There is always more to you than you might think.
Remember, challenge does not mean doing what gives your ego a charge, the thrill of recognition and pridefulness, or a feeling of superiority. Such activities in life/work only challenge how large you can inflate your ego, and do not serve your higher purpose in living. Your purpose in life is much simpler than that.
part 8
Motivation means getting your self moving.
When you do not feel motivated or can't seem to make things work for you, you lack creative flow — which has to originate within you. External rewards are a poor substitute for inner purpose.
Neither success nor motivation is a matter of conforming yourself and your activities to the extensive expectations, demands, pressures, or programming of the world outside you. Any sense of "motivation" that comes from selling your self out is a very great delusion, which you will realize, sooner or later.
Motivation, fulfillment, and purpose in life, are not about getting — but about learning to give of your self.
part 9
How much power do you feel you have? What limits your power, and how do you give up your power? Power — the ability to be, do, and have what you want — is about knowing that you can. But it is important how you go about it. Personal power means nothing without integrity.
Integrity simply means being true to your self. Personal power comes from creativity, intelligence, and integrity — within you — and the choices you make as to how to manifest what you want in the world at large. Creativity gives the ability to flow through life's various situations; intelligence brings order to creativity in your actions. And, integrity is a choice you make to use your creativity and intelligence with truth, love, and simplicity, to do what is right, good, and true, as best you can. Integrity is not situational; you need to hold to that place of integrity at all times.
part 10
Perspective is a combination of awareness, understanding, and personal philosophy. It is more than each of these, separately.
"Be in the world but not of the world." That is true perspective, based in true awareness, true understanding, and a true philosophy of life. If you do not have or live with such perspective, then where do you live, and what are your "successes" in that greater light? Perspective is needed in each and every moment, not just as some sort of afterthought later on when you have time for it.
Success requires a larger perspective, and a longer view.
Lesson 8: Obstacles and limitations
part 1
We all have limits. The truth is, most of them are self-imposed or accepted by us. We may or may not feel as though we can choose everything that happens to us in our lives, but we can choose what we do in response. The limitations we accept need not be so.
We limit ourselves out of habit, fear, anxiety, stress, doubt, guilt, shame, lack of self-knowledge, lack of self-confidence, lack of self-esteem, and the same old, tedious, day-to-day routine of our lives.
Of all the places you can go in this world, the one place you need to be able to "be free" is within you, in your inner being. The more strongly you stand in who you are, the more able you are to rise above all of life's limitations.
part 2
We all engage in "self-talk," though we seldom question the nature or quality of the thoughts we keep telling ourselves. One thing we rarely consider is how negative the things are that we say to ourselves in our minds, which other people don't know about or hear. We may say the most negative — self-negating — things, which we would be upset with someone else for saying to us, and yet say them to ourselves our entire lives.
Perhaps you can see how the constant repetition and reinforcement of these self-negating thoughts goes hand in hand with limiting or self-destructive patterns of behavior.
The idea is to be more aware of your negative self-talk. First, notice if and when it occurs, especially when you are upset. Notice any blame, judgment, any put-downs, any thoughts you have which devalue you, any time you think less of yourself. When you are aware of this, you can begin to reverse those thoughts.
Clear any negativity or upset or resentment from the day, rather than carrying it with you into another day. It will transform the quality of your life.
part 3
Fulfilling self-expression comes from thinking well of yourself, and pursuing what matters to you.
part 4
The most common obstacles to success are not external, but internal. They are habitual patterns of thinking and behaving, ways in which our energies go towards the wrong things.
Very simply, if you wish to experience true success in living your highest purposes, you have to reclaim the misdirected energies that you are spending to remain successful at lesser things in your life, or which you are wasting.
Your ability to deal with the outer world directly affects your inner experience: it becomes your stress level. The less able you are to manage, the more stress you have or experience. The more you are overwhelmed by the outer world, the less inner strength or confidence you have. It is a negative cycle.
To experience greater success and less stress, you need to break this cycle.
part 5
Being a victim means others determine your own life experience. It is necessary to get past the feelings of weakness or powerlessness, anger, fear, guilt, and self-doubt that are conditioned by the experience of being victimized. Those feelings do not protect you from further victimization; they merely perpetuate the hurtfulness.
To whatever extent you can, make positive choices in the direction of more peace, love, growth and healing in your life.
part 6
Everyone makes mistakes; mistakes are part of learning. There isn't anything great about mistakes, but you can learn from mistakes, and become more able to see, choose, and do what is right, good, and true to you. What matters is your intentions, and your perseverance, to keep going till you get it right.
The worst result of a fear of making mistakes is that you do less and less of those actions at which you are afraid to fail — the things which really mean the most to you. Think about that.
Realize that you are enough, and you have whatever you need to live your highest purposes in life. And, give yourself permission to make what you perceive to be mistakes in life. This is how you learn and grow.
part 7
A habit of catering to doubts can be paralyzing, especially when you are conditioned to doubting your self.
The greatest obstacle to experiencing yourself as a success is doubting your self, believing that you will not succeed.
Things are not always the way you might think they should be or want them to be. They are just the way they are. This means you may often need to let go of old, inappropriate, thoughts, perceptions, ideas, feelings, beliefs, or desires. And see the truth of things more clearly.
part 8
Disappointment and dissatisfaction indicate the extent to which your expectations are not matching "reality."
Perhaps your life choices have not met your expectations or demands, or you may not have the results you wished for. You may even resent it or feel guilty about it. Disappointment or dissatisfaction is a choice to be unhappy with what is or what isn't, or what was or wasn't, or what will or won't be.
If you are not thrilled with the results you have produced for yourself in life, then see how you might be able to do something different, now. What keeps you stuck in your old results is disappointment and self-rejection. When you resent or judge, you are refusing to accept the truth, or the power to change.
part 9
Most forms of limiting and self-destructive behavior drain the life energy from you. This is why you need to not simply rest to have enough energy, but also need to not waste your energies in ways that do not serve you. The things that really bring you down, but which you may tell yourself are all right, must go. This includes all forms of addiction, large and small. They are energy sinks, which drain you.
It isn't hard to understand energy: simply look at what you are doing, the choices you are making, the behaviors you have made habitual. Simply ask yourself where your energy is going. You'll see. Awareness is the basis of choice; choice is the basis of different actions and different results. Change your choices, change your energy, and you will change the quality of your life.
part 10
Stress is generally a result of not dealing effectively or appropriately with situations — you are overwhelmed, thrown off balance, or upset. When you internalize the external pressures that are upon you, you feel inner turmoil, anxiety, pressure, conflict, or other forms of upset (or "dis-ease") inside you. You lose your center and become reactive.
Stress and anxiety relate to your own particular responses to situations; they are not inherent in a given situation, but in you. The stress reaction is a conditioned form of behavior that is both limiting and self-destructive. Your negative reaction to whatever you feel stressed by, limits your ability to respond in a way that would be most true to your self.
Stress is not a part of success.
Whenever you resent pressure, authority, intimidation, having demands placed upon you, what you are doing, or who you are doing it with, it is stressful. The idea is to be centered in your self, and act from there — to not be pressured by anything outside you. The key to truly managing is not to be reactive, not to be affected by everything (or anything in particular) outside you, but to be moved from within. Practicing the centering process, daily, will release you from your reactiveness to external things. And it will release the stress from you.
You cannot control everything that happens outside you, but you can master your own ability to respond — which means not being reactive, not resenting, not judging, not being a victim. You can learn to be centered, patient, calm, and poised, in your self.
part 11
Even with regard to "external" obstacles, the most important thing is how we deal with them. What we do internally is more important than the nature of the external obstacle.
If you can't imagine how you could possibly go forward, ask yourself what you would do if you coulddo something. If you could do something, or take some action, what would it be? And, if that is all you can see to do, then do that. The idea is to not take any block, hindrance, interruption, or setback as being total. There is always a way to move.
If you can't possibly imagine how you could go forward, ask for advice from others. Get a different point of view, some helpful suggestions, some support. If something needs to be done, and you can't do it, get someone else to do it. If you need information, facts, or feedback, get it. None of us is in this alone; if you need help, seek it.
Look at an obstacle as an invitation to choose something different, rather than something which robs you of choice. As long as you have the power to choose, you can learn how to get past almost anything. And, if you don't think you have any real choices, you may need to expand your vision of possibilities and realize where you do have a choice — to do what you feel to be right, good, and true for you. That choice is always available to you. Always.
Lesson 9: Creative self-expression
part 1
Self-expression is creative, informative, and unpredictable. There may be those who say that all of our actions are predetermined, but we prefer to believe that we have free will and can choose to say yes or no to anything at any given moment. If we are asked to raise our hand, no one can say who will raise one hand or the other; it is not predictable. So, we think of life as an opportunity for free and creative self-expression, venturing into the unknown, learning who we are and what we are capable of doing.
part 2
As you think, so is your world. This doesn't mean the world is as you think it is, or that you need to think the way the world-at-large wants you to think. It simply means that the way you think of yourself is expressed in your immediate environment, in your life, in your world.
The quality of your life reflects the quality of your thoughts and feelings and beliefs about yourself.
You can change the quality of your thoughts, the quality of your feelings, the quality of your beliefs about yourself, and change the quality of your life.
It isn't hard to do. You just have to realize that you can do this. It is within your ability, no matter who you are, no matter what your circumstances in life.
part 3
Realize, it does not necessarily serve you to get everything you want, to hold on to everything you have, or to invest your self in things. Organize your life so that you are not caught up in it, so that you can stand back from it, in a place of balance, security, and peace of mind.
part 4
Defining who you are by anything outside of you — which includes your approval by others, your body, how rich you are, or your social position — only makes you more insecure. It separates you from the ground of your own inner being.
Is your life — who you are — defined by your pursuit of money, power, sex, material goods, influence, authority, position, social status, or acceptance by others? This is all ego, and none of it is true self-expression. The better way of being and living is to know yourself as your true inner being, and no longer identify yourself with or cater to the ego.
Unless you learn to find and act from the calm, clear, non-egotistical, unemotional, higher self, every choice and action in your life will cater to the lesser choice of egotism. And it doesn't matter how "creative" or "free" or "successful" you might imagine you are, all of your choices and actions will be within the wrong context, and in some way be untrue to you. People, in our society, which is so out of touch with who we really are and which incessantly demands that we be who we are not, live their entire lives this way. It is as if they are living a dream, dreaming they are awake, rather than truly being awake.
Think of all of the most noble and good and free qualities you could possibly have. And realize, you really do have those qualities; you are, perhaps, just not aware of them. You have, within you, all the love, joy, creativity, peace, wisdom, and goodness you could ever hope for. Know that this is who you are, your true inner being, and that it is available to you now. You need to know that in order to choose to live from there, now and always.
part 5
Your life experience can be created from a free, creative, and uplifting space, rather than the undue limitations of past experience. You are free to be who you truly are. Live from there.
part 6
It is much better to make real changes in your life, than imaginary ones in your mind. Until you change your behavior, and do something different and better, it is fantasy.
part 7
There are two paths in life. There is one set of choices which leads where you truly want to go, higher, better, happier, more whole — it leads to you. The other does not.
You choose.
Choose well.
part 8
Hope is an inner knowing of a higher good, the highest good of all.
Never let anything or anyone get between you and the hope in your heart.
You can deal with anything in this world, if you keep your hope alive, within you. People have done so, in the most horrendous circumstances.
If you take only one thing from this course, let it be: all you need, to stand strongly and deal with everything outside of you, is within you, now.
Hope is an unshakable belief in a greater good, that you can find it and know it within you.
part 9
It seems that each day people become more superficial, more hurried, more stressed, more in pain, more unhappy, more conflicted, and yet they do not want to know why.
Most people go through their entire lives without ever once coming closer to who they truly are; they live on the surface of life, on the superficial waves of desire, emotion, ego, and illusion.
The way you are displaced from the fullness and dignity of your Being, is by misidentifying yourself with surface waves. You think, and you think you are your thoughts. You feel, and you feel you are your emotions. You desire, and you think you are your desires. You are not. You have a depth of being which is far greater and deeper than any thoughts, feelings, or desires you may have.
part 10
The opportunity to express who we are comes in relation to others and the world-at-large.
Creative self-expression means finding a place to stand within you, where you are self-aware, self-directed, self-confident, and in touch with who you are — and then acting from there.
You will find that the more simply you are who you are, who you come to know your self to be, and the more simply you express who you are, the more real your life will be.
In the past, we may have "learned" how to be with other people, in family, relationships, school, work, in a state of compromise, where we acted as they expected us to act. We learned to fear disapproval or rejection by others. You might need to unlearn that behavior. It takes time.
Every moment is an opportunity to be more true to who you are, and, as a result, be more true and real to everyone else. Every moment is an opportunity to choose to tell yourself and others the truth. Every moment is an opportunity to come from a place of truth, love, and simplicity, within you.
Hold to your inner self, your inner worth, in all that you do.
Honor your self in all that you do, and honor others as well.
See everything you do as an opportunity to find more happiness, peace, love, and wisdom within you. The opportunity may come from being with others, but those qualities come from within you.